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Home > CL Basics |
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The
Action Aspect of CL Feelings are an important part of
human life. Some feelings we
like (for example, confidence and love and happiness and satisfaction), and
some feelings we don't like (such as loneliness and depression and fear and
timidity). It isn't surprising
that some people try to generate some feelings and eliminate others. The problem with that effort is that
feelings cannot be turned on and off at will. We cannot make ourselves stop feeling nervous before an
exam or tense before a job interview.
Feelings are natural aspects of the situations in which we find ourselves. They are natural and uncontrollable,
like the weather. So the best
way to handle feelings is to acknowledge them, accept them, learn from them,
and to go on about doing what needs to be done. Behavior, in contrast, is
controllable in spite of feelings.
We are responsible for what we do no matter what we are feeling. As time passes so do feelings unless
they are restimulated by actions or other circumstances. Reality provides us with a variety of
information about what needs to be done, feelings are only one source of such
information. Simply put, we need
to accept reality (including our emotional state) as it is, know our purpose
or goal, and do what needs doing.
The action aspect of CL is education based largely on an adaptation of
the writings of the Japanese psychiatrist Masatake Morita. The
Appreciation Aspect of CL If we are constantly concerned with
getting our share, with making sure we aren't left out, if we are extremely
self-focused and self-conscious, then we are likely to have a lot of
miserable feelings. The world
just never seems to send us enough green lights and prizes. Have you ever stopped to think of how
much is yours thanks only to your own efforts? Not your body, of course, or your ability to speak and
read English. Your job was
offered to you; someone taught you how to do it. So your income comes from others, both directly and
indirectly. Strange that some
people should consider themselves "self-made." It might be convenient to think
that your life can be summarized as overcoming the handicaps of your
childhood due to imperfect parenting, and through your own efforts you
achieved the success you now enjoy.
It may be convenient, but it is narrow and simply false. A bit of reflection causes us to see
that we have all been supported by people we know (someone changed our
diapers whether they felt like it or not) and don't know (the drivers who
stay on their side of the road and don't crash into us when we drive) and by
things (computers and hoses and water heaters) from the time we were born up
to the present. The appreciation aspect of CL asks
us to look at this support and what we have done to repay our debt to the
world. Often we discover that we
have repaid others' efforts with trouble for them, grumbling that they didn't
do enough for us. In our
neurotic moments we are self-centered and complaining. In our healthy moments we recognize
these gifts and debts and feel healthy gratitude and realistic guilt. The appreciation aspect of CL is
education based primarily on adaptations of the theory and methods of Ishin
Yoshimoto's Naikan .
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